My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Sunday, September 27, 2015

This girl

I don't even know how to start this post.

This girl...

This girl...

This girl...

This girl...

It wasn't back to school for her.  This year it was off to school.

The last couple of weeks before she left were rough.  When friends would casually ask me if I was ready, my eyes would well up with tears, and we had to change the subject.  Today as I write this, I have to keep blinking fast to keep the tears at bay.  Oh how I miss that girl!

Some of the tears were just because I knew we would miss her.  She is a walking ray of sunshine! She is helpful and has always included me in the details of her life.  She has a ready smile and is kind to everyone.  Especially adoring little brothers.

And sure enough, the house feels empty without her.  The little boys talk about her constantly and always remember her in their prayers.  She came home for a visit this weekend, and she was like a rock star!  Everyone wanted to sit by her and tell her things and show her things.  She handled the suffocation well.

Some of the tears were sadness that this phase of my life has come to an end.  The phase of having all of my sweet little children together under one roof is over.  It went so fast!  It has been an exhausting and demanding phase for sure, but deeply rewarding.  I never could have imagined how intense or fulfilling motherhood could be.

Some of my tears, thankfully, were tears of happiness and optimism.  Rebecca is so ready for this step!  She is wise beyond her years and full of faith.  I have complete confidence in her.  I already love the growth that I can see in her.  She told me the other day, "I didn't realize that I needed independence until I had it!"  She was content at home, and nervous about assuming adult responsibilities.  She has been pleasantly surprised at how much she loves being on her own.

We dropped her off at EAC a couple weeks before school started.  The plan was for her to ride a bike or a scooter around.  But as we pulled away from town, Jeff couldn't stand it.  He decided then and there that he was going to buy her a car.  So she is now set up with an apartment full of roommates that she loves, a job at the Safford feed store, and an old clunker of a car to get her around.

This girl is off to a great start as an adult!

Monday, September 14, 2015

Melted my heart

Not long ago Eli crawled in bed with me early in the morning. He snuggled in with me, and I wrapped an arm around him with my eyes still closed in hopes of conveying the message that it was still time to be sleeping.

He was staring at me, and started stroking my face. He have a big, morning-breath sigh and said quietly "I like dis kind of mom."

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone