I don’t feel jealous of other people, because that would be petty and immature. But if I did ever feel tempted…
I might feel a slight twinge of envy when I see one of those people at the grocery store in cute, well put together outfits. You know… the ones that are leisurely browsing the aisles with a little basket dangling from their arm. The basket usually contains a sampling of several fresh fruits and veggies, some expensive health-conscious cereal, and a very small but luxurious treat.
I try not to glare at them when they smile at me over my heaping basket of bulk items. I, too have something dangling from my arm. It’s Simon, who has grown tired of riding in the cart, and is busy throwing up crackers into my shoe. While I smear that around with a rag, Jonah manages to get the cart moving, and is off down the aisle, trailing items that have fallen off the top of the pile. The only way for him to stop it is to ram it into something.
I’m really not jealous when we get to the checkout counter. “You saved $50 today!” I’m quite sure that is the lady in the cute outfit’s grocery bill for a week. My total is usually closer to one million dollars. The clerk will usually ask me something along the lines of “are you stocking up?”
Unfortunately I will be back in a few days…