My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Monday, November 16, 2020

The wind is always blowing toward the promised land





I am LOVING studying the Book of Mormon this year with the Come, Follow Me curriculum!

I've always known it was "written for our day," but this year I have seen that so obviously!

Every week I see uncanny parallels to what is going on in our world today.

This week I'm reading about the brother of Jared and his family, who are crossing the ocean in barges they built themselves, and heading for the promised land.

The scriptures say there was a "fuious wind" blowing upon the waters, towards the promised land. It says they were tossed upon the waves, and many times buried in the depths of the sea. The had a hole in the top and one in the bottom so they could open whichever side was up and let in fresh air. That means they and their kids and their animals must have turned upside down!

They had prepared the best they could. They had made their barges tight like unto a dish to keep the water out. They had all the provisions they would need. They had special lights that were powered by the Lord Himself.

And yet... those 344 days had to be SO HARD!

I bet there were days when they wished for a break. Days they wished the darn wind would stop blowing so furiously!

And yet... it was the wind that kept them moving toward their destination. Even though it felt unrelenting at times, the wind was actually a great blessing. It was exactly what they needed.


Right now the winds are blowing in my life. Some days they even feel like "furious winds." The future feels uncertain. I miss gathering with friends and family. Some of my kids are going through really hard things. Hard for them, and hard for me. Sometimes I feel upside down, and I wonder when things will right themselves.


But even in all the chaos, when I quiet my mind, I can sense that my Heavenly Parents are aware of me.

I'm choosing to trust that they know exactly what they are doing, and that they have a plan for me and my family.
 
So when the wind feels furious; when mountainous waves loom over us; when we feel tossed about and upside down; remember where we are headed.

We are each headed to our own "promised land." The Lord knows the way, and He is in control of the wind. If we stay close to Him, He will cause the wind to blow us straight to the promised land.

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

My Self Portrait (circa 2005)


I know this doesn’t look much like a self-portrait, in the typical sense, but this is a visual representation of how I see myself and my life.

At my core, I am straight and steady. To me, brown like strength, but not rigidity. My roots reach down deep, and my mind is always reaching upward, trying to grow toward the light.

The colorful limbs that grow out to the side are my life experiences. They are beautiful and colorful and move in unexpected ways. I am constantly changing and evolving, and the variety of those changes adds to my strength and my beauty.

I don't claim to be artist, but when I look at my life from this perspective, it looks like a masterpiece to me.