My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Finding them where they are




Last week my dear Aunt Andy passed away.  She was my mom’s only sister, and her children were almost like siblings to us growing up.  She was a wonderful example to me of faith and love, and of keeping an eternal perspective.

She was also a great musician, and helped to foster a love of music in our extended family.

When my cousin spoke at her funeral, she talked about what a great accompanist she was.  She had a talent for being able to follow the singer (she was playing the piano) even when they got lost or sang the wrong thing at the wrong time.  The audience never knew something had gone wrong, because she could find them where they were, and support them there.

She talked about how that was one of her talents in life as well.  She could find people where they were, love them there, and support them in their journey.  There were so many people that were drawn to her and her home because of the love and acceptance they felt there. Her kids’ friends wanted to be in her home as much as possible.  She had a large house, and there was always room for someone who needed a place to stay.  Often she would arrive at family functions with an “extra”- someone who was living with them for a while. Everyone who was around her felt loved and supported right where they were.

I’ve been thinking all week about what a valuable and Christlike skill that is, and one that I want to purposely cultivate in myself.  I don’t want to waste any time believing people should be different than they are.  Not my husband, my children, my extended family, or even strangers that I come in contact with.  I want to love and accept them right where they are, and for that to become my “default setting.”  I want everyone in my circle to feel welcomed and “found” just as they are, and then supported as they move forward.

I am so grateful for Aunt Andy's influence in my life.

It turns out love really is always the answer.