My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Wallowing

I know it’s been a long time since I have posted.  I have been very busy, you see.  Busy wallowing in my nausea and self-pity!

It’s such a vicious cycle.  I feel tired and sick, so I’m not very productive.  Then, because I’m not productive, I start mentally beating myself up about being so lazy and wimpy.  That, of course, makes me feel even worse, and I get cranky.  You can see the downward spiral.  And you would think that by the 7th pregnancy I would be better at it than this!

I had set my psychological timer for 12 weeks.  I could deal with the sickness until 12 weeks (pregnancy timeline), and then I would magically feel better and get a boost of energy and motivation!

Unfortunately, 12 weeks came and went, and I don’t feel any better.  My only choice is to pick myself up, put on a happy face, and try to stay busy enough that I don’t have time to whine and complain.  Right?  I can’t think of any other workable options.

So this is my formal declaration.  I’m done wallowing!  Wish me luck!

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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 21, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    good luck. :) -Savannah

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  2. Becky LambMarch 25, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    by number seven you have earned the right to wallow and besides you already know that there is nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. I mean just take the last four kids scrape books. They are not any where near being caught up and you went right ahead and had two more kids that probably don't have any pictures even taken of them. So wallow away, it will all be waiting for you down the road. Becky Lamb

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  3. Becky LambMarch 25, 2011 at 9:38 PM

    That would be scrapbook of course not scrape books. You would think I was the one pregnant.

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  4. Little Liza JaneMarch 28, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    my sistah! I am so right there with you! Right now I am sitting here wallowing!!! I am not pregnant, but taking hormones to promote lactation for the newborn we are adopting that is due in two weeks, and so my body THINKS its pg. I also was in an accident 2 months ago and tore the rotator cup in my right arm and have been useless!I am on the same viscous cycle. I need to do something I know but sometimes it's all so blah!

    I am so jealous of you! I live in Thailand and so no taco bell! totally not fair! Now I'm wallowing again! So go, my friend, and have a bean burrito for me, and know that you are not alone, and that this too shall pass.

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  5. Cara @ Gardenview CottageApril 1, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    congratulations! don't beat yourself up..you are amazing and you have such a wonderful family who loves you and doesn't care that the dishes don't get done or whatever. being prego is sooo much better than being sick with some sort of horrible disease. live it up, make then rub your feet, pick you flowers, sing love songs to you and don't worry..like Becky said, there's always tomorrow (wink)

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