The Conspiracy

I’m pretty sure I know what my kids talk about, late at night, when they are supposed to be sleeping.  I suspect they lie there and talk about how they can create the maximum amount of work for me, while maintaining a facade of innocence.

I can hear it now:

“When mom asks me to do something, I’m gonna pretend to be agreeable, and then when she turns her back, I’ll ‘forget’ to do it.  That way she’ll have to ask me several times, and follow me around to make sure it gets done.”

“Oh yeah?  Well my plan is to sneak all the clean laundry back into the dirty baskets so she’ll have to wash things over and over again.”

“I’ve been leaving wet towels on the carpet in the corners of my room.  By the time she thinks to look for them there, they’ll smell so bad she’ll have to wash them with bleach!”

“Well when I clear my dishes, I leave big chunks of food in them.  By the time mom figures it out, stuff is always crusted on there, and she has to scrub them double the amount of time.”

“One of the easiest ways to drive her crazy is to put things away in the wrong place.  She’ll spend forever looking for things!”

“Yeah!  That’s a good one!  She may catch on to some of our tricks, but by the time she has to ask each person to find out who made which mess, it probably won’t be worth it.  It’ll just be easier to clean it up herself!

Even Simon has joined in on the fun.  His secret weapon is to suck on the top of the salt shaker, so that every time I want to use it, I have to clean it out to unclog it.

Jeff tries to assure me that it isn’t conscious sabotage, but I’m not so sure.  Maybe tonight I’ll listen outside their bedroom doors…