I found myself feeling a little off balance this week.
I was a little quicker to anger and slower to appreciate goodness than usual. A little more rushed and scattered, a little less nurturing.
When I took the time to stop running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I realized why. A huge majority of my time the preceding week had been spent on things that were not the most important things.
My days and minutes were filled with really good things, but those things had crowded out the crucial things.
Instead of reading books or playing trains with the little boys in the morning, I was busy answering emails or texts. Trying to get ready for the basketball tournament or the music assignments for the upcoming conference. For several evenings in a row, I was not here for our bedtime routine... scriptures, song, prayers, group hug. I was busy singing in an amazing, powerful choir concert that really fed my soul. I had an evening meeting for girls camp and led a Stake choir practice.
All of those things needed to be done, and I'm glad that I did them. But now it is time for me to rebalance. I played a game of Skip-bo with the kids, and oh how it filled me! We had time to laugh and talk, with no interruptions. (Unless, of course, you count the 2 year old that kept scattering the cards and sneezing grossness on people.)
Today we had our Easter Sunrise devotional, our special breakfast, and an egg hunt. I got to share my testimony of the Savior with my family, and bask in the peace of the early morning. I shared their excitement when the little ones found candy in their eggs, and I had time to listen to the funny things they said.
I could list about a hundred little, ordinary things that happened this weekend that helped me to regain my balance. Stuffing eggs with Josh. Telling Becca the story of Jeff's and my first kiss. Wiping the chocolate drool off of Eli's chin over and over. Hearing Jonah tell me he loves me, with those sparkling eyes and big gaps in his teeth.
It was a good reminder for me. No matter how many good things I do, there is nothing more important than the little details of my family. If I am too busy to enjoy those little things, it is time to slow down, take a breath, and re-focus.
It's going to be a good week.
My inspiration for this record of my days:
“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen