My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Friday, September 16, 2016

My privilege

I've just returned from raking the sandbox in the park.  Last night I took the little boys to the park to celebrate the "beautiful wedder" (weather, as per Eli.)  Eli had gotten a little plastic "poison dart frog" from preschool, and he really wanted to play with it at the park.  I knew (having been through similar scenarios MANY times before) that the frog would get lost forever in the sand, but Eli would not believe me.  He insisted he would be able to see it just fine.  So he climbed to the top of the play structure and threw the frog into the sand for a "body slam." (I seem to use quotation marks a lot when talking about Eli, don't I?)

Of course, no matter how hard we all looked, the frog was gone.  I promised we could return when it was light to try again.  So the first question he asked when he stumbled out of bed this morning was "Can we go right now to look for my frog?"  We took a rake back to the park.  We found a lot of cat poop, but alas, no frog.

Last night around midnight, Simon came stumbling into my room, really upset by a nightmare.  He said he felt too insecure to go back to his own room. I made a cozy bed for him on the floor next to my bed, and he fell right back to sleep.  Much faster than I did.

My alarm went off at 5:30 this morning.  I had to get up extra early to allow time to change the gauze on Caleb's back.  He was riding (standing up) on an old mattress, being pulled by a friend driving a car around the dirt lot behind us.  Was there any question how that would end???  But the poor guy can hardly move now, and he needed his bandages changed in time to get to school.  So I was up at 5:30.

This is after 3 days of healing

So I am feeling a little tired today, but mostly really blessed.  What a privilege it is to be a mother!  I am so grateful that I get to be the one to be here, in the moments that are so important to these sweet children.  I wouldn't trade that privilege for anything in the world.

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