My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Mind

Back in the day… if you asked me, “Did you pay that bill?”  or “Will you be at the meeting?”  I could answer you with a definite yes or no.  Yes, I have a library book checked out.  Yes, I can bring cookies to the party.  No, I won’t be able to make it to volunteer on that day.  I have another commitment. 

But lately I just don’t trust myself.   A couple of days ago I told a friend that I was on my way to her house to return something, then I promptly hung up the phone and went shopping!  Almost every week I make some commitment for Friday afternoon, and then have to call and reschedule because I had forgotten about piano lessons.  Last week I forgot to pick up Rebecca from school.  Just forgot!  I was clipping roses.

Last week the treasurer for Savannah’s synchro team asked me… “Did you pay your bill for this month? I can’t find it.”  I had a fairly specific memory of sending a check with Savannah, but I didn’t trust it.  Luckily I found proof online that it had been cleared.  Only then did I feel confident enough to say “Yes, I’m sure I paid that.”

I swear that I haven’t always been this confused.  I swear I used to be an organized, responsible person.  At least that’s how I remember it…

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