My inspiration for this record of my days:

“The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” -Anna Quindlen

Sunday, August 29, 2010

In my blood

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Music is in my blood.

This is a picture of my Grandpa Webb playing the sax in the Webb brothers band.  I recently read a book about my ancestors who lived in the Mormon colonies in Mexico in the late 1800s.  They were known for their musical talents (and their love of literature).

Going to BYU, majoring in music, almost sucked the music right out of my blood… if that is possible.  It certainly squashed the love of music right out of me.  It was a competitive program, and I was actually kicked out once and advised to find another major.

Long story short… I begged my way back in, and worked hard to graduate.  But by the end I was pretty scarred.  I couldn’t stand to listen to anything, because my brain couldn’t escape the habit of analyzing everything I heard.  My confidence in my skills was shot, and I found no joy in singing.

Today I declare myself officially healed.

Last week I sang The Lord Bless You and Keep You with some of my sisters.  It’s one of our specialties, and sometimes I take it for granted.  But it is really beautiful.  What a privilege it is to sing with my amazingly talented sisters!  To be able to blend without effort, and feel each others breathing and dynamics without having to say anything.  What a joy that is!

Today in church I led the singing for the congregation.  I felt joy as I led so many people in singing praises. 

I also directed the ward choir.  Everyone worked so hard to learn their parts, looking to me to teach them and help them.  I loved the challenge of trying to make that music as beautiful as it could be!  And I felt confident in my skills, and my ability to do the job.

I even feel grateful for my time at BYU, and the things I learned there.

Yes- music is in my blood, right where it belongs.   I missed it there for a while. 

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3 comments:

  1. JeffAugust 30, 2010 at 9:00 AM

    I'm very happy to see this change. I often long for the days of listening to Harry and the Nylons together and knowing you enjoyed it. I didn't like seeing your love of music burned out either. Hopefully, constant piano practicing in the house won't cause the same burn out :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. ~j.September 4, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    I can't wait for you to post a video of you singing with your sisters.

    *ahem*

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2010 at 10:23 PM

    This is wonderful news. I never really knew what happened to your love of music, but I'm very glad you are back. You definately have music in your blood, and an amazing talent. Mom

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